Laugh Out Loud

As you may know I have two crumb snatchers... here lately I have noticed my daughter says things that just force me to laugh out loud. Which I try as hard as possible to never do because she doesn't quite get the difference between laughing at someone for being cute versus laughing at them because they did something embarrassing.

An example of a few of those LOL moments are what follows:
In late April of 08 my parents were visiting, my daughter calls my mom "Nama" and not "grandma," or any typical type name. So, my mom and I are on the couch in the living room looking at pictures of tire swings and trying to decide which animal we like better when we hear:

"Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaa... will you come color with me?"

We both end up ignoring it because I here "Nama" and my mom hears "Mama" so of course we both thought the other was being addressed. After a few of those we hear:

"Nama, I am talking to you!" as my daughter just appears right behind us.

"Oh Sizzy I am sorry, "Nama" and "Mama" sound so close; they sound the same, so much so that I can't tell if you are calling me "Nama" or your mama. Why don't you call me Grandma?"

"Then let's try this again ok? NA MA! Will you come color with me?"

And yet another name related kidism...

"Maaaaaaaama.... mommy, mommy... MAAAAAAAMA.... mommy... mmmmmmmama!"

"Sizzy you only have to call me one time! That is all... just once... ok?"

After having taken care of that issue... not minutes later I hear...

"Mommy!!! MOOOOOOOOOOOM MEEEE! Mommy, MAMA.... "

"You are driving me crazy cuteness! I said one time, just call my name one time, all you need is to say "Mommy," that is all."

"Ok mommy."

As I wonder to myself if it is ever going to get through to her thick little head how absolutely annoying it is to hear "Mommy" 500 times in a row, I hear...

MOOOOOMMMMYYYYYY.... Mama! Can you come here... mommy.... mommy are you coming? (it must be noted that she is actually walking toward me at this time) Mommy I said I want you to come here... mamma! MAWmmmmmmmy!"

To which I mutter under my breath "I am going to change my name!!!"

My daughter quips back "Nicole, come here please!"

Our visit to my sister-in-laws in June of 08....

We are driving down the road headed to the Jelly Belly factory and my 8 year old niece innocently- I say innocently because little does she know the level of matter of factness she is about to get or she wouldn't have asked such a simple question- asks my sister-in-law,

"Mommy? Where are we?"

and my daughter pipes back "We are in the middle of the road Natalie!"

Now seriously, how do you not laugh out loud at those kind of smarts!?

Tea Baggin' the Masses

For those who play Halo3 on Xbox Live, you are well aware of what "tea bagging" is... how annoying and lame it is as well! It's meant as an insult, because to have some retarded prepubescent male who's junk hasn't even dropped yet dunking their would be nuts in your face like an old lady dunks her tea bag in her cup of tea is well pretty much saying

"yousuckballshere'smineenjoyhaveanicedayMmkayThanx!"

I on the other hand usually interpret it as you can't "get it" in real life so all you have left is to "get it" virtually... well then you just have at it because while you think you are insulting me... you are not, because I am thinking just how truly pathetic you really are.

Oh! and ladies, puhleeeze... if you are using the following sentence in any way shape or form "oh! I just tea bagged that azz hat" let me enlighten you... first of all it's not lady like, but that is your cross to bare not mine, and for girls it is camel stomping... not tea bagging.

Why?
Hello!
Do you have tea bags or a camel toe?
Nuff said, let's move on...

Now that I am done, explaining and defining... the real and true point of this little missive is to relate a story, while embarrassing to me is still the funniest thing you will be lucky enough read today.

I was playing on the floor with my kids and the hubby... we have the Fisher Price Geo Trax, my son and daughter LOVE the trains! I love the durability of the track when my son, who is part tank, decides to do his Godzilla impression and ravage our poor little Geo world!

"Thugga thugga?"
"Yes "Boo" that's a chugga chugga choo choo!"
"Mommy he said chugga chugga"
"Yes he did"

Then a squeal of delight because tickle time is on! My husband had just grabbed my daughter and started to tickle her, my son ran by him grinning and saying "Mmmmm... Mmmmmm" and whatever other baby gibberish a 14 month old says aloud. The blowing on the baby belly's has begun as well!

Tired from the chasing and the blowing on my kids belly's... I decided to lay on my back on the floor, because as we all know getting old sucks rocks! My back also ached from sitting so long and playing train engineer. When all of a sudden...

"bfffffffffffffffft"

I am laughing like a mad woman... my daughter has just blown on my belly! I had forgotten how much that really tickles! Of course it's monkey see monkey do... but Boo has not the grace nor the coordination that my daughter has and well hers isn't "all that" either...

Boo trying to do what "Sizzy" is doing and blow on mommy's belly instead drools on my face and steps all over my hair, which while painful is still funny to me... and of course even more funny to the hubby. Boo then also decides the drool is not quite enough so let me stick a train in mommy's face.

"Thugga thuggaAH!"

All of a sudden another "bfffffffffffffffft" on my belly from my daughter. I am again laughing and she is repeating,

"Tickle tickle, tickle tickle, tickle tickle"
"Okay... that's...."
"bfffffffffffffffft.....Tickle tickle"

I am laughing quite boisterously by now... the next thing I know my son is straddling my face and bouncing up and down, uuuup and down, giggling "huh huh huh... ThuggaH!"

I squeal! Through the laughter I am begging, to no avail, "get him off me," which is directed at my husband who is also laughing, quite hardily I might add
-you suck by the way! That was just wrong!

"Why are you laughing so hard mommy?"

I continue to laugh as tears roll in a steady stream down my face.

"Mommy why are you laughing a lot.... daddy she won't answer me"
"She can't (chuckle) she's laughing too hard"
"Why is she laughing? Mommy why are you laughing a lot?"

I am still rolling on the floor, my face buried in the carpet... laughing... hysterically.

The punch line?
I was just tea bagged by a 14 month old! WTF?