You Are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader

Okay, while this won't be funny I need to get it out there or I am going to explode!!

I organize and have been organizing for some time, several groups of gals to play Halo 3 and various other games, so this doesn't just come from random people, it comes from the gals I game with, whose ages range from about 13 to well into their 40's. They are all wonderful gals but I tell you after answering the same question repeatedly and to no avail, it ceases to amuse me and starts turning my smile upside down...

Can someone tell me why the hell when I say it's going to be such and such time CST, the answer I get back is "what time is that Eastern? Pacific? Mountain?" And my all time favorite "I'm in the central timezone what time would that be for me?"

Seriously? I swear to God you just strapped on your stupid before asking me that one!

It's time for you to get your ignorant ass back in school! WTF?

I hate math. Math is for people with no freaken imagination. I am an artist, and while I am forced to use math it's pretty basic, no freaken trigonometry needed, and I don't have to pull some formula straight outta my rear end to figure the dimensions for a canvas, thank you! But having said that I feel that time is math related, and well I know how to tell time so, why? PUHLEEZE tell me why if I can figure out that Eastern is an hour ahead of me, and the others one hour behind for Mountain and two hours behind for Pacific... why can't the rest of the populous?

To make it even worse I know these people watch TV. Who doesn't? They probably are watching some lame ass show like American Idol or Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. Well during those shows they have promo's for other hopefully better shows and tell you, actually show you right there on the screen while reading it to you... Lame Ass Show is on Wednesday night's at 9 P.M. Central/ 7 P.M. Pacific. Does that not speak for itself? When it is 9 CST then it is 7 PST... it's a two hour difference, hell even my 4 yr old can do that math!

My assumption is that although these people may have graduated high school or even college, they are not very smart.

Here is a little cheat sheet for the time zone challenged!

If it is:
12 noon for the Eastern time zone (aka EST: Eastern Standard Time)
It is going to be:
11 A.M. for the Central time zone (aka CST: Central Standard Time)
And will be:
10 A.M. for the Mountain time zone ( aka MST: Mountain Standard Time)
Oh, and let's not forget it will be:
9 A.M. for the Pacific time zone ( aka PST: Pacific Standard Time)

If you time zone challenged people can, copy and paste this into Word or some other comparable software, print it out and tape it where you can see it and learn from it and NEVER EVER send me a friggen email or pm again asking me what time it is in your time zone I will be a happier person! Because if you ask me again, this will be my response:

"You, are not smarter than a fifth grader."


*Note for those who are GMT challenged (I understand "why" for this one!) click here.