You Are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader

Okay, while this won't be funny I need to get it out there or I am going to explode!!

I organize and have been organizing for some time, several groups of gals to play Halo 3 and various other games, so this doesn't just come from random people, it comes from the gals I game with, whose ages range from about 13 to well into their 40's. They are all wonderful gals but I tell you after answering the same question repeatedly and to no avail, it ceases to amuse me and starts turning my smile upside down...

Can someone tell me why the hell when I say it's going to be such and such time CST, the answer I get back is "what time is that Eastern? Pacific? Mountain?" And my all time favorite "I'm in the central timezone what time would that be for me?"

Seriously? I swear to God you just strapped on your stupid before asking me that one!

It's time for you to get your ignorant ass back in school! WTF?

I hate math. Math is for people with no freaken imagination. I am an artist, and while I am forced to use math it's pretty basic, no freaken trigonometry needed, and I don't have to pull some formula straight outta my rear end to figure the dimensions for a canvas, thank you! But having said that I feel that time is math related, and well I know how to tell time so, why? PUHLEEZE tell me why if I can figure out that Eastern is an hour ahead of me, and the others one hour behind for Mountain and two hours behind for Pacific... why can't the rest of the populous?

To make it even worse I know these people watch TV. Who doesn't? They probably are watching some lame ass show like American Idol or Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. Well during those shows they have promo's for other hopefully better shows and tell you, actually show you right there on the screen while reading it to you... Lame Ass Show is on Wednesday night's at 9 P.M. Central/ 7 P.M. Pacific. Does that not speak for itself? When it is 9 CST then it is 7 PST... it's a two hour difference, hell even my 4 yr old can do that math!

My assumption is that although these people may have graduated high school or even college, they are not very smart.

Here is a little cheat sheet for the time zone challenged!

If it is:
12 noon for the Eastern time zone (aka EST: Eastern Standard Time)
It is going to be:
11 A.M. for the Central time zone (aka CST: Central Standard Time)
And will be:
10 A.M. for the Mountain time zone ( aka MST: Mountain Standard Time)
Oh, and let's not forget it will be:
9 A.M. for the Pacific time zone ( aka PST: Pacific Standard Time)

If you time zone challenged people can, copy and paste this into Word or some other comparable software, print it out and tape it where you can see it and learn from it and NEVER EVER send me a friggen email or pm again asking me what time it is in your time zone I will be a happier person! Because if you ask me again, this will be my response:

"You, are not smarter than a fifth grader."


*Note for those who are GMT challenged (I understand "why" for this one!) click here.

Xbox Live Sucks!

Yes, I know what you are thinking...

"She's a girl why does she have an XBL account?"
"She's a mom why does she have an XBL account?"
"How does she even know what XBL is?"

Well let me enlighten the masses... first of all, females can play video games, contrary to the popular myth created by males. Second, we have wonderful hand eye coordination, we even have opposable thumbs (Yay for thumbs!) therefore we can hold a controller and press the necessary buttons in order to complete the objective, which I might add means killing you and your antiquated ways of thinking. Who knew?!

Oh, on a side note to the mom's out there that don't play... don't give me any crap about video games being violent, they instill violence in children blah blah blah... let me enlighten you as well. I've been playing games since the gaming console was invented! I played Pong for heavens sake! I loved it. We got it when we were in Japan. I also played on the Atari, Odyssey, Castle Wolfenstein on the Apple II C, the original Nintendo, the Sega Genesis, do I really need to go on listing the consoles?

I played games along side my brother. We purchased consoles together with our allowance. My brother is the sweetest guy you will ever meet, he doesn't run around killing people and neither do I. Okay, I kill virtual people but that is my way of relieving stress and I know there is a difference between virtual and reality! Most people who have no other issues know the difference, so blaming the gaming industry is idiotic. Don't make them the scapegoat for bad parenting skills.

My kids will probably play too, and I think that I have the advantage over most mom's because when it comes to games, consoles, and content in games, I actually know what the hell is going on, I refuse to stay oblivious. I don't play in front of my kids; it's an after the kiddies are in bed fast asleep kinda thing. My kids are still too young to even know what a gaming console is let alone respect it and the overly expensive accessories (oh! did I just say that?).

Now back to the fact that Xbox Live has been doing a number on it's paid subscribers.... I pay to use XBL, $50 a year... I personally don't have a steady income (I have Cafepress store so I can stay at home) so I am picky about what I do spend my money on, I expect to pay for the service promised and Xbox has fallen quite short of their promise. To compensate its subscribers Xbox Live is going to give away a game. I know you are saying,

"Wow! That is really nice of them."

Uhm No. It costs around $60 for any top game at any store that sells them, and less for the games no one wants to play. XBL is notorious for giving away games that no one wants. It is the consensus on the forums that we will probably be rewarded with Carcassonne, don't ask me about the game just know it isn't worthy of explanation. I must also mention they just gave the game away for free in October or November... I've played it once and am glad I didn't pay a single dime for it. If they want to make me happy they need to cough up MS Points. I would love those over a game that well, here's are copy of a post that I made that really tells you how I feel:

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After lasts nights xbl fiasco I want MS POINTS not some stupid low end of the totem pole piece of crap no one would ever buy but MS needs to recoup the loss somehow so they give it away for a tax write off type of game!!!


It's the least they could do! We couldn't invite, send messages, receive messages, we kept loosing people IF we even got a game! I am beyond tired of this, they know what the problem is, it's NOT stupid hackers, that's a lame excuse, someone in the xbl group f'd up somewhere and they need to fire him (it's gotta be a guy!) and fix it... just fix it!
If I wasn't so freaken addicted to Halo3, GOW and now COD4 I'd tell them where they could put their xbl. I pay for this? What is wrong with me!? I'm a play at home mom! My money is precious to me, I don't spend it willy nilly I want the service I paid for, not some hacked up craptastic service, if I want craptastic service I'll go to a fast food joint!
Xbl is the largest online paid gaming system? Well freaken act like it, fix the probs, get more bandwidth for the higher traffic volume or whatever but do it! It's been a month! Be Nike! JUST DO IT!

Ok I'm done ranting... I'm still po'ed but.... like a nth of a degree less so.... *grumbles* stupid xbl!

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Yeah, I know I have anger issues but better to have them in a text format don't you think? I'd really rather be pissed off then pissed on anyway. Not to mention those with whom I play along side, including my fellow clan members, are just as pissed off. It's anger that is justifiable towards Xbox Live and it's lack of properly handling the situation!

Well to make me smile and that is all it does, I'm not yet giddy... I'll get to that point if this actually happens but XBL is getting sued... I'm going to keep watching the situation because it interests me and because it affects me... While I understand that Xbox Live is not a guaranteed service so these guys really don't have a leg to stand on, the out come will be interesting none the less! I'll post more on this in the future. In the meantime Happy Gaming! (if XBL lets you!)